A wedding takes precedence over a funeral, except in my siddur

In Jewish law, if a wedding procession and funeral cortege meet in the streets, the wedding procession has the right of way. There are other laws that dictate other ways in which a wedding takes precedence over mourning.

So I feel really awkward about the fact that as I'm putting the finishing touches on my siddur, I have made the decision to include the modifications to birkat hamazon, the blessings following a meal, that are made in a house of mourners, but that I have not included the modifications made in a house of wedding celebration (i.e., sheva berachot).

My reasons are sound. To add sheva berachot would add another page, and I'm at 176 -- and multiples of 16 are good in book publishing. And if I add sheva berachot, then I probably need to add brit milah and pidyon haben, and maybe the rest of the wedding ceremony. So there's a certain cost and slippery slope involved in adding it.

But more importantly, I'm motivated by the use cases. At weddings and sheva berachot there are usually special bentschers, booklets with the prayers for the meal and with custom-printed covers with the couple's names and the date of the wedding.

But houses of mourning are not that way. One grabs the nearest siddur. So I want my siddur, if it's the one that's grabbed, to have what people need at a time when they are not necessarily planning ahead.

Obviously, I still feel a little uncomfortable about this. Every bentscher in existence has the texts for the smachot, the happy times of weddings and childbirth (I almost typed childbrith, which is also appropriate). Most don't have the texts for a house of mourning. So the presence of the consolation text juxtaposed with the absence of the celebratory text makes me feel awkward, like people will think I'm macabre.

So perhaps, even though I have very good rational reasons to include the one and omit the others, I should give in, add an extra few pages, and include the texts of joy.

A wedding takes precedence over a funeral, except in my siddur

In Jewish law, if a wedding procession and funeral cortege meet in the streets, the wedding procession has the right of way. There are other laws that dictate other ways in which a wedding takes precedence over mourning.

So I feel really awkward about the fact that as I'm putting the finishing touches on my siddur, I have made the decision to include the modifications to birkat hamazon, the blessings following a meal, that are made in a house of mourners, but that I have not included the modifications made in a house of wedding celebration (i.e., sheva berachot).

My reasons are sound. To add sheva berachot would add another page, and I'm at 176 -- and multiples of 16 are good in book publishing. And if I add sheva berachot, then I probably need to add brit milah and pidyon haben, and maybe the rest of the wedding ceremony. So there's a certain cost and slippery slope involved in adding it.

But more importantly, I'm motivated by the use cases. At weddings and sheva berachot there are usually special bentschers, booklets with the prayers for the meal and with custom-printed covers with the couple's names and the date of the wedding.

But houses of mourning are not that way. One grabs the nearest siddur. So I want my siddur, if it's the one that's grabbed, to have what people need at a time when they are not necessarily planning ahead.

Obviously, I still feel a little uncomfortable about this. Every bentscher in existence has the texts for the smachot, the happy times of weddings and childbirth (I almost typed childbrith, which is also appropriate). Most don't have the texts for a house of mourning. So the presence of the consolation text juxtaposed with the absence of the celebratory text makes me feel awkward, like people will think I'm macabre.

So perhaps, even though I have very good rational reasons to include the one and omit the others, I should give in, add an extra few pages, and include the texts of joy.