Catch-up blogging: Yom Kippur

[rhu]

Notes from Y"K that I want to remember:

* On the way to shul, I discussed with the kids why I use my great-grandfather's Kol Nidre machzor (the special prayer-book with only the prayers for the night of Yom Kippur). It's a connection to our German past; a single thread that connects our lives here with the generations there. What I said resonated with Tani, who followed every word of Kol Nidre itself with his finger, and wanted to use it for the Ashamnu.

* I was unprepared for yizkor, the memorial service. First, although I'm fairly well-informed about the Jewish liturgy, this was my first ever yizkor (traditionally, those whose parents are alive leave the room during yizkor), and I didn't realize that there are multiple traditions about what to say (yizkor elokim versus kel male rachamim, and whether to combine relatives and if so in what groupings), and there wasn't a lot of guidance in the siddur. Second, it hadn't even occurred to me that I would be saying yizkor not only for my father but for my grandparents, and I didn't know their patronyms.

* Yizkor didn't affect me emotionally; perhaps because I was preoccupied with liturgical logistics, perhaps because I was expecting it. Similarly, I was able to distance myself from untane tokef and its motif of "who shall live and who shall die." What caught me up short was the line in the confession: ve-atah tzaddik al kol mah sheba aleinu --- "but You are just in all that has befallen us." The resonance between this text and the Justification of the Judgement (recited at the funeral) was unexpected.

* I never realized before how on Y"K there are eight instances of the mourners' kaddish in the first ten minutes or so, and then none the entire rest of the day (until the very end of arvit after Y"K is over). Odd.

Comments

[jadelennox]

My First Yizkor -- sounds like a terrible picture book, doesn't it? Mine was weird and very hard, because the hippies at the Hav, bless 'em, do lots of sharing of feelings before the actual davenning.

I've discovered I have a terrible time with mi shebeirachs now, and any rofeh cholim.

[mabfan.livejournal.com]

My first Yizkor felt odd because it was essentially me and a whole lot of much older people. As the years pass, however, that becomes less of the case.

For my parents, I say individual Yizkor prayers, but I don't say it individually for my grandparents. I say the prayer for all my extended relatives.

[vettecat.livejournal.com]

It's wonderful that you have his siddur.