A visitor

[rhu]

I sense it as it slinks in on kitten's padded paws,
A flicker, spotted briefly out the corner of my eye.
Invited into my moment by a snatch of music in the air,
The sights and shouts of random kids on soccer greens,
A sky as blue as heaven's dome the day we shoveled earth into his grave.

I feel its breath; I know it's there. Pretend it's gone.
Force-feed my brain, cram my mental gullet with neutral noise,
With cryptic crossword clues and software diagrams and
Purr, purr in the back of my mind it paces, pensive, patient,
Waiting for its prey, my mind, to drift, unguarded, back.

A friend gave warning; he was wrong.
"Twelve tons of freight train, one-ten MPH, and BAM! It knocks you flat."

No. Grief's not that.

Such gross assault is easy, lacking subtle wit and grace,
And makes unworthy challenge. Better far to slowly stalk,
To find the smallest pores in man's defense.

Grief sidles up and proffers comfort, warm and welcome.
I let it curl up in my lap, it gently makes itself at home.
I sit, bereft and weeping. Joined, yet utterly alone.

Comments

[jadelennox]

Yes, this.

<3

[rustmon.livejournal.com]

*HUG*

[violetcheetah.livejournal.com]

I'm trying to think of the right word or phrase for what I feel reading this. Not "proud of," but something similar that expands my chest and tightens it at the same time. Perhaps selfishly proud -to-: to be one of your friends, to witness you not running away, not drowning it out, but not drowning. You live, and you share, and you show me how to live and share.

[mabfan.livejournal.com]

If you need to talk, ever, I'm here.

[vettecat.livejournal.com]

Sorry you're going through a rough time, hope knowing that people care about you helps a little.