Kids machzor part 2: Yom Kippur

[rhu]

Still scrambling to get everything done in time. Here's my current text for the vidui. The rest of the Amidah will be taken from the Rosh Hashanah machzor that I posted last week.

Suggestions for improvements very very welcome. [Note: If you're reading this on Facebook, please come to the original at my LiveJournal blog so the comments are all in one thread.]

I hope to get it formatted after Shabbat, since Sunday will be sukkah-building day.


Dear God,

We will not lie to you
We will not say "I did not sin"
We have sinned,
And we are sorry:



A. We have been angry
B. We have bullied
C. We have cheated
D. We have disobeyed parents and teachers
E. We have eaten things we should not
F. We have fought
G. We have been greedy

For all these sins, O God, we are sorry. Please forgive us.

H. We have hurt people
I. We have insulted people
J. We have joked when we should have been serious
K. We have kicked people
L. We have lied

For all these sins, O God, we are sorry. Please forgive us.

M. We have made messes
N. We have been naughty
O. We have been obstinate
P We have picked on people
Q We have quarreled
R We have robbed.

For all these sins, O God, we are sorry. Please forgive us.

S We have spilled secrets
T We have tattled.
U We have been unfriendly
V We have been violent
W We have wasted food
X We have made up excuses
Y We have disobeyed you
Z We have forgotten Zion (Jerusalem).

For all these sins, O God, we are sorry. Please forgive us.

---

Our Father, our King, we have sinned against you.
Our Father, our King, forgive us.
Our Father, our King, remember our mitzvot!
Our Father, our King, write us in the book of life!
Our Father, our King, write us in the book of good health!
Our Father, our King, write us in the book of enough food!
Our Father, our King, show us mercy!

Comments

[530nm330hz.livejournal.com]

For "Y" I considered going with "We have been Yentas" (and explaining in advance what that means), but I don't want to perpetuate that stereotype. But that's the weakest one, and I'd love to get suggestions.

[gingicat]

We have yielded to peer pressure when we knew better.

[530nm330hz.livejournal.com]

A little advanced for a six-year-old, I think, even for my brilliant six-year-old, but good for the rest of us.

[cnoocy]

"Tattled" seems odd to me. I associate it with "snitching" and the general desire of people who do wrong to stigmatize others for pointing out their wrongdoing to people in authority.

[530nm330hz.livejournal.com]

Well, we've had issues lately of her running to report other kids' misbehaviour. Which, while morally appropriate in the abstract, is an undesirable character trait in the commonplace and something we're trying to rein in.

[kirisutogomen.livejournal.com]

Yelled?

[530nm330hz.livejournal.com]

Yelled is excellent. Thanks!